To board or not to board?
Times journalist Stefanie Marsh has written a thought provoking article about the potential psychological perils of sending children to boarding school when very young (Times 23/06/11). Some of our leading politicians, David Cameron, Boris Johnson, Winston Churchill as well media figures Stephen Fry and Sienna Miller have experienced being sent away to school at a very early age.
Her article is based on a recently published paper by psychotherapist, Joy Schaverien; Boarding School; the trauma of the privileged child. In this paper Schaverien refers to what she calls Boarding School Syndrome. As a result of being sent away to school as early as 7 years of age many former pupils have found themselves struggling with intimacy issues and relationships in general. Marsh spoke to 12, what she called,‘boarding school survivors’.
They all told similar stories. Despite often having very successful careers they had severe problems in their relationships with others and also themselves; the women in their lives were often idealised, many suffered from workaholism, some burnout, others had breakdowns.
Hilary Moriaty, the head of the Boarding Schools’ Association, counters Schaverien’s assertions, suggesting that the historical models on which her ideas are based are outdated. She suggests that a great deal of care is now given to the happiness of the children who board.
While it may be true that the quality and sophistication of care for young boarders has improved markedly the fundamental trauma of separation and loss from the primary attachment figures, mother and father, remains the same now as it was 30 years ago.
Attachment theory, first formulated by psychoanalyst John Bowlby after the Second World War, has been developed and researched. Separation and grief in childhood are now understood to cause different attachment styles in adult relationships, secure-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant.
All of these patterns can cause difficulties in effectively relating to partners as well as impeding the development of secure and healthy relationships with others.
So, is 7 too young to send a child away to school? Schaverien is unequivocal. Yes.
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Source - Ian Williamson
ianwilliamson@groupanalyticpractice.com